I haven't been straight with you. Like most entrepreneurs... I haven't told you everything. I told you why I decided to found data.world in this Lucky7 post. I told you the good part. What I didn't tell you is that I was living in fear during those first few months of getting started... being back in an office and back in the arena once again.
But why? I had started successful companies before, such as Bazaarvoice and Coremetrics. data.world was my sixth! I had a bigger network than ever before. I had more know-how than at any other point in my entrepreneurial career, including the lessons that hardened for me in writing Lucky7 over the years to help other entrepreneurs. I had spent three years in deep reflection. I had seen over 1,100 startup pitches, which really does have the effect of making new mental connections (VCs call this "pattern recognition"). I had worked behind the scenes at Austin Ventures, seeing how the VC industry really works. I had served as an Entrepreneur-in-Residence at both The Wharton School and U.T. Austin. I knew company culture like the back of my hand - Bazaarvoice had been rated the best place to work in Austin when it was a small, medium, and then large-size company, winning #1 in all three categories as we rapidly grew. Alongside my excellent co-founders, I had spent months researching the viability of data.world. In short, I was, rationally speaking, more prepared than I had ever been before. So why was I afraid?
I actually think this is a very common state of being for entrepreneurs starting out, regardless of their experience or success. But it isn't something we talk about, especially if you are a founder and CEO. We are supposed to project confidence, right? In front of me and other startup CEOs, Satya Nadella at an Accel CEO Summit, said, very shortly after he took the job as CEO at Microsoft, "You can't have a bad day as a CEO." What he meant was that if you are in a bad mood, if you are feeling fearful, you can't project that mood within your company. Company employees will model their CEO's behavior, and his point is that you need to strive to be the ultimate model of performance, confidence, positivity, but, yes, balanced with authenticity (at least, to the extent that it doesn't freak out your team - if you yourself are feeling freaked out inside). You know that old expression, "It's lonely at the top"? It's true.
Why fear? One of the most famous entrepreneurs in Austin once told me, after Bazaarvoice, "Be careful what you do next. Everyone is watching. You are near the top of the entrepreneurial heap in Austin, so choose wisely." This message was coming to me from an entrepreneur who had experienced a lot of financial success but had never themselves stepped back into the arena. Why? Because they had made enough money? I had too. Or was it because they were afraid of failing if they did it again? But yet we are the creators. Don't we have an obligation to overcome that fear and continue to create? To live our meaning? It may be helpful to read my meditative post on the soul of entrepreneurship before you continue to read on.
Some VCs, such as Homebrew (one of our investors at data.world), have started to address the topic of founder depression. Catherine Shu wrote about it in this TechCrunch article. This is something that should be talked about more. As founders, we are humans too. And I believe many non-founder startup employees go through this depression and fear as well. I wrote a Lucky7 post for middle-aged entrepreneurs who are either starting or joining a startup for the first time, after working for large companies their entire career. My motivation for writing it was is that I've rarely seen large-company people do well in their first startup - most of them fail. Why is that? After all, don't they have gold-plated resumes and plenty of heady experience? The reason is that they are used to people saluting them when they tell them they work at P&G or Ford or Goldman Sachs. No one is going to laugh at you around the Thanksgiving table if you tell them one of those well-known companies is where you choose to hang your hat. Everyone respects those companies. Not much of a career risk. Little fear of being judged. But Bazaarvoice? Our family vet one time asked me, "I know this isn't polite but I listened to your work voicemail and I'm just wondering... what exactly are you focused on at Bizarre Boys?". We were one year into it as a newer startup in Austin. I had a little fun with my response, but that post is for another time.
There is nothing more rewarding in career than being a creator - an entrepreneur. You get to build something from scratch and, if amazing people decide to join you and the world embraces your creation, it is truly euphoric. There is nothing like it: you made your small contribution to society! You created something new, alongside a great team. But... if it fails... it is gut-wrenching. What is the world rejects your creation? What if your market timing was really off? What if a competitor kicks your ass? Your name is all over this, sometimes quite literally in the name of the company itself (as is the case with Dell). Whatever your fear is, that paralyzing fear when you are getting started is normal. People have this perception that we entrepreneurs are totally comfortable in jumping off the figurative cliff and building our company's wings on the way down. But that is bullshit. And we sometimes perpetuate that myth by glamorizing each other. The truth is that great entrepreneurs are usually risk adverse, as I wrote about in this Lucky7 post. And sometimes entrepreneurship is really scary, as you can see in Elon Musk's interview with The New York Times last week.
So, I wrote this post for all of you that are feeling scared at the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey. I want you to realize that feeling is normal. As you feel that fear beginning to paralyze you, I have some advice. Keep moving. That is the only way through it. Find that state of execution flow. Remember that "this, too, shall pass". Or, as my CEO coach, Kirk Dando, says, "The road to heaven goes through hell." Be strong. Get that momentum going. No one is going to do it for you. As Dr. Seuss wrote, "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." Specifically, if you find yourself in the grip of fear, I recommend:
1. Talk to someone about it. This could be your co-founders. It could be your spouse or best friend. Don't just carry that burden alone. Everyone sometimes needs a friend to help them overcome their fears. You are human. I'll never forget a class I took at Wharton where we all laid out our fears. That class helped me commit to continue to be an entrepreneur after graduation. While most of my classmates took high paying jobs my salary was the grand total of $0 for the first six months post graduation and then $60k for the next six months after that (a far cry from the $150k+ that most of my classmates were making).
2. Do something that centers you again. For some, this is meditation. For others, like me, this is exercising. Or it may just be going on a long walk or beautiful hike alone. Or it may be going to a conference or reading a book that helps you overcome your fear and keep moving. Whatever you do, take care of yourself.
3. If you find yourself sitting there, paralyzed, remember that momentum begets momentum. Pick up the phone and call a potential Advisory Board member (some guru in your industry that may help give you confidence, or tell you what to change). Call a potential client. Call a potential partner. Let the market speak to you. Get moving and your fear will start to dissipate.
4. Once you have overcome your fear, talk about it like I'm doing in this post. Let's normalize this for other entrepreneurs instead of just talk about the "glory" or our "successes". Entrepreneurship is hard - it is the ultimate journey of self-discovery.
For me, that feeling dissipated about three or four months into data.world. I found my state of flow, bolstered by my amazing co-founders, and today we are the largest collaborative data community in the world, with feature-rich enterprise offerings for our clients and many integrated partners, such as Microsoft Power BI, Tableau, and Google Data Studio. We just celebrated two years of being live to the world. Momentum is building every day. But... we still have plenty of execution challenge ahead. And there will still be periods of fear. And I will work through it, keeping in mind that placing one foot in front of the other is the only way to get to the other side.
Fear is normal, even for the most experienced entrepreneurs. Maybe even more so because they have more face to lose. Because we know how hard the journey can be. Because we aren't as naive as we used to be. No matter our level of experience, let's talk about this more and not hide behind our "success stories". Founder depression - and fear - are real issues to deal with. To that end, I would really love to hear your stories below - and how you overcame your fear or depression. Let's get real with each other - there's real strength in numbers.
And if you fail after doing all that you can, then read this Lucky7 post to lift yourself back up. It is the story of Cotter Cunningham, one of our most successful entrepreneurs in Austin. Keep walking, my friends.
I look forward to hearing from you in the comments below. And thanks to Josh Baer for reviewing this post and suggesting some enhancements, which I promptly acted on!
Image source: Inovautus Consulting